Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Celebrating a Life

Today we mourn the loss of our precious child on this earth… the loss of the dream of raising twins together… the loss of knowing our son Warren as a 1, 2, and now 3 year old, the loss of John’s brother (and Daniel’s) and the loss of a grandson.  Has it really been 3 years since we held that sweet boy as we gave him back to the Lord, ushering him into the eternal Kingdom with love, prayers, songs, and tears? 

Because of God’s great love, we are not consumed.  Today we also celebrate a life.  Warren’s life on earth… the 9 cherished months of carrying John and Warren in my womb…on bed rest as their vessel of love, feeling their kicks, experiencing their vitality.  Giving birth to those beautiful, perfect, blue-eyed, blond-headed boys.  Kissing tiny noses, holding delicate fingers, nuzzling warm bodies.  19 days of fear of seizures, tubes, wires, diagnoses, prognoses, and the unknown.  But also 19 days of LIFE, of FAMILY, of the four of us together. 19 days of clinging to the Lord, begging for miracles.  19 days of bliss, of love so expansive and so extensive that our hearts ached.  Hurting in the best possible way.  In a way that you know, in every fiber of your being, that you are truly alive.  And that your life counts.

With these boys, we received the gift of becoming parents.  Of knowing love, true love, the love of the Father… or at least a glimpse.  A shadow, a reflection of His great, all encompassing, extensive, unrelenting love for us as His children.  The best gift in the whole world….to receive a glimpse, a taste, a deposit of His love. 

How we love our sons.  On many days, 19 days just wasn’t enough.  It isn’t enough.  But on other days, we embrace the gift.  The gift of 9 months of pregnancy and 19 full days with a beloved child.  We know many who don’t even get to meet their children, or they only get to know them after they have already been received in heaven but have no breath of their own in their earthly shells.  Others who desire to be parents, longing for even 19 days.  19 days of smushy cheeks, dimpled skin, and soft lips.

We may not have all the answers.  But we can trust in the One who does.  Or at least, come to Him at our worst as well…laying our questions, doubts, and frustrations before Him. 

When it comes to Warren’s life, his beautiful life on earth and his glorified life in heaven, today we are grateful.  And today, there is rightful mourning and longing for God to make all things new as we trust He ultimately will.

But there is also celebration of a life.  A life that matters.  A life that was not born in vain.  A life that continues throughout all eternity.  A significant life. 

We love you, Warren.  We will always sing your song and celebrate you, our son.  

Thanks for letting us share these cherished photos of Warren that most of you have never seen.

I want to close this entry by sharing a journal entry following Warren’s death:
“We are so proud of you. We love you so much.  I have never known such great love. It just spills over and over for you… an eternal fountain that will never, never dry up. You are not gone. You are with us. You are amazing— such a gift to me. I am honored to have known you, to know you, to know you again fully someday, and I’m honored to be your Mommy. Always and forever. I love you precious son, sweet boy, child of God.”

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; 
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10


  1. Love this post, 3 years to the day! I am so proud of you, sweet Mama.

  2. Thinking about you all today! Love you! xoxo, Allison

  3. Welling up with tears over these precious photos and your sweet words. Love you friend and praying for you today.

  4. Oh, Mary Elizabeth. My heart aches for you. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story. I'm reminded to love and cherish my children even more after reading your words. May Jesus be so near and real. Love to you all. xoxo-Anne Worthington

  5. Mary Elizabeth, I'm weeping. Your writing and your stories touch my heart. Thinking and praying for you.

  6. It's hard to believe it has been three years. This is such a beautifully written and heart-wrenching post -- thanks for sharing it and the sweet photos. I love y'all and keep you in my heart today and every day.