Holy Ground/19 Days: Lesson From Warren, Post 1

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name."

-Hebrews 13:5,15  NKJV

Seeing that this blog essentially speaks to life, loss and redemption, these next few posts around the fifth anniversary of Warren’s death on February 8th and subsequent birth in heaven will highlight a few specific things the Lord has placed on my heart over the years: “Lessons from Warren.”  

Warren taught us the vast significance of all life, no matter how brief in our earthly economy or limited understanding.  Many have told us how Warren’s life taught them to pray, to seek closer intimacy with their Creator. 

February 8th, along with the 19 days following the twins’ birthday on January 21^st, is certainly bittersweet.  We still mourn this loss while we also continue to celebrate Warren’s life, singing his song. And I know this actually has surprised some…. Why do we feel the need to talk about our deceased son?  Do we do this out of guilt?  Do we not know how to move forward?  I hope some of these questions will be answered in this post and the ones to follow… but more than that, we hope these posts, like Warren’s life, will point you to Jesus.

While we often find ourselves in the land of “what ifs,” caught up in anger, loneliness and the weight of crushed dreams for our life and future, this weekend we hope to lay the questions and anguish aside.  We hope to instead embrace a spirit of gratitude. Focusing not on what we didn’t get to experience, but instead on what we did.  Focusing not on the time we were denied with Warren, but instead on the time we did have.  Focusing not on why a good God would allow a medical error to abruptly shorten our beloved son’s life (also the life of John’s twin who we had hoped would have his brother throughout his earthly life), but rather focusing on the good God who perhaps prevented our twins from being taken even earlier when complications and hemorrhaging arose on several occasions while the boys were still in my womb. 

A shift from coveting what was lost, as the verse above states, to instead offering a sacrifice of praise for what we have.  God allowed me to meet, hold, and snuggle my twins… to feel their warm bodies against my skin.  To sing to them, pray over them, read to them, love on them.

So today’s lesson from Warren is simple.  We are grateful for 19 days.  Questions aside, despite tears welling, the fact remains that 19 days is what we were given.  And so today, I want to be grateful for that gift.  I choose to be grateful.  Those precious, albeit heart-wrenching, days when in many ways time stood still.  Those days in which every moment, each solitary minute, was savored.  Treasured in a way that I cannot say was experienced in Daniel or Andrew’s first few weeks (although those weeks were precious in their own way, of course). 

When a life hangs in the balance, when you are fighting for every breath, those moments stretch, time slows, hearts seem to almost bleed into one.  When a life is tenuous, and suffering meets love, you truly stand on holy ground where nothing is taken for granted.  Those 19 days were our holy ground, where a slice of heaven came to earth in the form of our twins.  A time in which we lived and loved without regret.  And then one was taken to heaven to be with his Lord, to reside on the true Holy Ground we will also get to experience some day.

What are your “19 days”?  I know it is difficult, unbearable at times, but let's find spaces and moments, even, to join together in offering a sacrifice of praise for the glimpses of holy ground in each of our lives, knowing the Lord will never leave us nor forsake us.  

I will close with a link to the lyrics and music to a beloved throwback, “Holy Ground”:

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Holy Ground 

Verse 1

When I walk through the doors I sensed His presence

And I knew this was a place where love abounds

For this is a temple Jehova God abides here

Oh we are standing in His presence on holy ground

(chorus)

We are standing on holy ground

And I know that there are angels all around

Let us praise Jesus now

For we are standing in His presence on holy ground

Verse 2

In His presence I know there is joy beyond all measure

And at His feet sweet peace of mind can still be found

For when we have a need He is still the answer

Just reach out and claim it for we are standing on holy ground

(chorus)

We are standing on holy ground

And I know that there are angels all around

Let us praise Jesus now

For we are standing in His presence on holy ground

Holy holy holy Lord God Almighty

Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee

(chorus)

We are standing on holy ground

And I know that there are angels all around

Let us praise Jesus now

For we are standing in His presence

We are standing in His presence

We are standing in His presence on holy ground

Birthday Boys

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

-2 Corinthians 4:17-18

John is 5 today!!  (Hopefully you get this on Tuesday, January 21st.)  Wow, it is hard to believe our baby is a big 5-year-old now!  We feel incredibly blessed to get to be the parents of this joyful, bright, sweet spirited child.  In addition, we are inspired by his hard work, tenacity, and perseverance.  John teaches us so much about the Lord, what truly matters, and the unseen greater realities the Lord desires us to grasp.

Of course, we also remember Warren on his birthday and love him always.  We cherish the 19 days we had with him (plus the months of bonding on bed rest when I was carrying the twins) and also celebrate his eternal life in heaven.  Some of the sweetest moments of our lives were getting to hold them both on our chests.  What a gift these twins were and are.  They keep us anchored on the earth and God’s purposes here, yet also focused on our true home in heaven.  Warren and John changed our lives forever, and our lives do not make sense without any of our sons.

As most of you may know, our other big announcement is that we welcomed our fourth son into the world on Thursday, January 9^th!  We are thrilled with our precious Andrew Kellam Stone.  We praise the Lord and thank you for your prayers… this whole experience has been entirely redemptive.  Full of peace and joy!  We had a wonderful experience delivering in a new hospital, and the labor and delivery (second VBAC) were so smooth!  My doctor was even on call.  Andrew is a perfectly healthy and very content baby.  My recovery has been easy too!  We feel so blessed and love the full, rich feeling of being a family of five here on earth.  John and Daniel have adjusted well and have been wonderful big brothers to their newest sibling.

A little about Andrew’s name…  In the Bible, Andrew was Jesus’ very first disciple.  He left everything to follow Him!  The Bible says Andrew, at once, recognized Jesus as Messiah.  What faith, and what a great example for us all!  In addition, Andrew was known for bringing others, like his brother Peter, to Jesus.  We pray all of these things for our son.  Kellam is Meade’s mother’s maiden name.  We wanted to honor “Maddie” along with the Kellam family.  Meade cherished his grandparents, and I am grateful that I knew Meade’s sweet grandmother before she passed.  We are thankful our children are surrounded by so many family members who love them!

You are a significant part of all of these celebrations, and we thank you for continuing to be on this journey with us!   

Birthday celebrations:

He Came Near

I had the opportunity to write a reflection for our church's Advent devotional this year.  I have posted it below.  Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Isaiah 60:1-6

1 Arise, shine, for your light has come,
 and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples, 
but the Lord rises upon you
 and his glory appears over you.

3 Nations will come to your light,
 and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

4 Lift up your eyes and look about you:
 All assemble and come to you; 
your sons come from afar,
 and your daughters are carried on the hip.

5  Then you will look and be radiant,
 your heart will throb and swell with joy;
 the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
 to you the riches of the nations will come.

6  Herds of camels will cover your land,
 young camels of Midian and Ephah.
 And all from Sheba will come,
 bearing gold and incense
 and proclaiming the praise of the Lord.

As we celebrate the eve of Christ’s birth, this passage gives us perspective.  “Lift up your eyes and look about you,” the prophet calls!  Yes, there is darkness in the world… a palpable, “thick darkness” that we all grapple with daily. I certainly appreciate the juxtaposition of light and darkness.  The Lord affirms our desires and deep pain… indeed, the darkness is all too real.  But friends, so is His light. This greater reality is found in the Lord’s glory that literally covers us. 

On a personal note, I couldn’t help but “lift my eyes” and notice the sentiment found in verse 4: “All assemble and come to you; your sons come from afar.”  As a mother of a precious son in heaven, I was incredibly touched by this vivid picture of restoration, of a son coming from afar.  To glimpse a day when my children will come to me, especially the beloved son we had to bury all too soon… this day when we will take on the Lord’s radiance as we will finally see face to face (1 Corinthians 13:12), surrounded by His abundant provision. 

This passage is ultimately about restoration, yes, the specific restoration for which your heart longs. It points to both the hope found in Christ’s birth, God taking on flesh, and also to the ultimate hope we have in our eternal home where all will be fully restored, Christ’s promises finally consummated. 

I invite you to take in this beautiful picture of restoration, of light piercing the  darkness, of abundant provision where there had been lack, and of God’s praises where there had been doubt and fear.  We were once a shadow people living in darkness, but, with Christ’s incarnation, we have been brought into His glorious light.  On this Christmas Eve, I pray our hearts will “throb and swell” with the Lord’s joy!

Check out this cute video of John as a shepherd with the other preschool and elementary school children at church. Meade is walking him down the aisle in this video before the children sang "Away in a Manger" during Lessons and Carols.

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